Horror 101

"Tiffany: I have closet phobia. Miss Allison James: I think you mean claustrophobia. Tiffany: No. Closet phobia. I'm afraid of running out of closet space."

"Tiffany: Ten reasons why women don't kill as often as men. By Tiffany Samuels and Mark Prescott. K. No. 1, they don't wanna break a nail while bludgeoning someone to death. No. 2, they don't wanna bury anyone when it's cold, wet, damp or humid cuz it makes their hair frizzy. No. 3, women don't kill as often as men do because their brains aren't damaged from too much beer drinking and the inhaling of noxious fumes released incessantly by men, i.e. farting. No. 4, they don't drive vehicles that have trunks big enough to transport a body to a proper burial site. No. 5, their boyfriends don't let them out of their sight long enough, so they can actually kill somebody without them asking them where they were. Sorry baby. OK, no. 6, why women don't kill as often as men is because they don't like to get icky stuff like blood and brain goo on their clothes. No. 7, they've seen prison women in heat and they don't want to end up on the wrong end of the broom. No. 8, it could get them kicked off the cheerleading squad. No. 9, orange jumpsuits just aren't fashionable. And no. 10, if you think that you look bad on your driver's license picture, your mug shot is ten times worse."