Stardom

"Montreal Talk-Show Host: [leaving his guest stranded to fend for himself as he comes down to interview girlfriend] Hello? [in French, causing a deer-in-the-headlights startled look from her] Montreal Talk-Show Host: What? Pussycat got your tongue? Tina Menzhal: [uncomfortably] I'm sorry, I don't speak French. Montreal Talk-Show Host: [in her language now:] Nobody's perfect. But I think you are very close. [audience loves this] Montreal Talk-Show Host: I saw you coming in with this guy. Is he your boyfriend? Tina Menzhal: I can't talk. Montreal Talk-Show Host: [in French, to audience:] She can't talk. The plot thickens, let's unravel this mystery. [leads panicking girl to the stage, clowning along the way] Montreal Talk-Show Host: Why don't you have a seat? Merci. [to his abandoned guest, in French:] Montreal Talk-Show Host: Okay, Philippe, that monologue must have exhausted you. Go sit in my chair, it's much more comfortable. [in effect, shooing him out of the way, with the pretty girl all to himself] Montreal Talk-Show Host: Go. Thanks. [to her:] Montreal Talk-Show Host: So, are you ashamed of this man? Is there a dark secret you wish to share with us? Tina Menzhal: Well, I'm not supposed to be seen with him. Montreal Talk-Show Host: Why? Because he is too old for you? Philippe Gascon: [in French:] Thanks a lot! Montreal Talk-Show Host: [in French:] Don't mention it! Tina Menzhal: Well, it's like, if other photographers knew I was with him, they wouldn't hire me. Montreal Talk-Show Host: We won't tell. Tina Menzhal: Yeah, right. Now the whole world knows. [gesturing at Philippe] Tina Menzhal: Look at him. He's laughing. I'm toast. They're gonna send me back to Cornwall, thank you very much. Philippe Gascon: Come on, you're going to Paris. Montreal Talk-Show Host: Paris? Paris, France? My God. But, you don't speak French. Tina Menzhal: I know a few words. Montreal Talk-Show Host: Say one. Tina Menzhal: [delightfully naïve] I can't. They're all dirty words, I think. Montreal Talk-Show Host: [in French, to Philippe:] You taught her smut? Philippe Gascon: [in French, laughing:] You gotta start somewhere. Montreal Talk-Show Host: [in French:] You pervert. Tina Menzhal: I know this one... Vicieuse. He likes it when I am vicieuse, or... [tries in French:] Tina Menzhal: And also, 'slut.' Montreal Talk-Show Host: [in French, theatrical, to audience, who is lapping it up:] Is it me, or is it really getting hot in here? I'm gonna pass out. I need some water. Be right with you. [drinks from glass, she looks at him, butter won't melt in her mouth, audience loves this] Montreal Talk-Show Host: Do you know some other words? [audience laughter grows] Montreal Talk-Show Host: Please speak French to me!"

"Barry Levine: [old guy enthralled by his young lover, obviously doomed relationship] Look at her. [beautiful Tina's, in fact, being chatted up on the beach by young stud] Barry Levine: Can you see her? [sighs] Barry Levine: She's so fucking beautiful. [smiles proudly, stressed out, takes a sip from drink] Barry Levine: You don't know how beautiful she is. She slides in bed with you naked, you wanna die. It just fucking kills you. [close-up of her angelic face] Barry Levine: You walk into a room with her, every man, every woman wants her. President of the United States wants to do her. [takes another sip of his drink]"