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ComedyVariety Music Awards Tributes Specials | 2007 | Rebecca
"Robert Wuhl: 1775: Boston, Massachusetts. A British postal worker, twenty-three years old, a postal rider hears that the British are invading. He gets on a horse and rides 350 miles to warn the colonists, and his name is? Audience: Paul Revere. Robert Wuhl: His name is Israel Bissell. Israel Bissell! Now, did Paul Revere ride? Absolutely! He went a good nineteen miles. He went from Boston to Cambridge. The only person he could have warned was the Dean of Harvard. Israel Bissell on the other hand goes from Boston across Massachusetts, down through Rhode Island, across Connecticut, down into New York, across New Jersey to Philadelphia. Guys, how chafed are Bissell's balls at this point, on a horse? He's on a horse! This is a long ride on Amtrak."
"Robert Wuhl: There are very few universal truths in the world. One is food always tastes better when somebody else is paying for it. Universal truth. The other is that everybody in this room was taught the story of how Columbus when before Queen Isabella of Spain and he was gonna prove to her that the world was... Audience: Round! Robert Wuhl: Do you know that Queen Isabella of Spain, pretty smart woman I gotta believe, would have said to Christopher Columbus if he laid this line of her? She would have looked at him and go, "Christopher, Aristotle figured out the world was round 2000 years ago! This is 1492, the year they invented the globe!" So this "world in round" story is 100% bullshit. It's total fiction. Yet how did our grandparents learn this? We learned this? Our grandchildren are probably gonna learn this. How come? Because history is pop culture. In the early 1800s, the biggest pop culture figure in America decided he was going to tell the story. His name: Washington Irving."
