Instant Karma

"Jesus Man: [Zane and Penelope, on their date, are walking along a boardwalk at Venice Beach. An odd man pushing a shopping cart comes up behind them] Hey! Hey! Guess what? Zane: What? Jesus Man: Guess! Zane: I don't know. What? Jesus Man: I'm Jesus Christ... I am. Zane: [a bit taken aback] Well... Nice to meet you, Mr. Christ. Zane: [Zane and Penelope laugh and walk on, the guy still following them] I don't know what to say to the guy... Jesus Man: Hey! Hey! You two married? Jesus Man: [Zane and Penelope stop and look at him] I can marry ya'. Zane: Yeah? Jesus Man: I'm Jesus Christ!"

"Dr. Berlin: You say you're in love... why do you seem to be so troubled, then? Zane: Maybe wanting to be great in someone else's eyes makes us examine ourselves more closely. Dr. Berlin: Well, that's what we're here for. Zane: I just really think I sold out. Dr. Berlin: Where does all this guilt come from? Zane: I just wanted to be a great writer like my dad, you know? He was an artist. Dr. Berlin: Well, as I understand it, he never really got anywhere. Zane: Well, that depends on how you look at it. I couldn't feel good about myself if I knew I willingly sold out. Dr. Berlin: Maybe you were seduced? Zane: Was I? Dr. Berlin: Let me ask you... Would you rather have the money? Or the art? Zane: [pauses to consider] Both. Dr. Berlin: Ah, well, maybe you can't *have* both. Zane: Well... Well, if I said the money, I couldn't respect myself. And, if I said the art... I couldn't afford you. Dr. Berlin: Maybe we better have a little hypnotherapy."