Ted and Venus

Ted and Venus

Movie

  • Duration: 1h 40min
  • Music: David Robbins,Derek Marcil
  • Similar To: Tuner, The Idea of You
  • Story:
    Ted is a 1970s Venice Beach poet who spends his days drifting along the boardwalk, reciting his poetry to anyone who will listen. His life changes when a bikini-clad beauty named Linda strolls by him. Instantly, Ted believes he's found his "Venus" and becomes obsessed with Linda. He tries to woo her with poetry, obscene phone calls and romantic overtures, all to disastrous effect.
    Full Story

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Ted And Venus - Cast

Ted And Venus - Crew

Ted and Venus - IMAGE GALLERY

STORY

Story
Ted is a 1970s Venice Beach poet who spends his days drifting along the boardwalk, reciting his poetry to anyone who will listen. His life changes when a bikini-clad beauty named Linda strolls by him. Instantly, Ted believes he's found his "Venus" and becomes obsessed with Linda. He tries to woo her with poetry, obscene phone calls and romantic overtures, all to disastrous effect.

TRIVIA AND POPULAR DIALOGUES

Trivia

Originally, the poetry reading scene was going to include a poem written by Henry Rollins. This was changed at the last minute when permission was refused for its inclusion in the film. Bud Cort wrote all the poetry himself at the last minute.

First (and as of 2020 only) film written and directed by Bud Cort.

Popular Dialogues

"Ted Whitley: I want a tube-top Venus who undulates my soul... and my shorts. I want a virgin whore who speaks perfect Chinese, and kisses French fluidly. I want a stainless steel boudoir with a velvety throne. I want a golden parakeet to shit on her soul. I want to loofah the pain and hurt from her ivory shoulder blades. I want a woman who's not afraid of making a right turn in a left lane. I want a pizza with all the trimmings. A steak tartar; hold the onions. Velvety images shrink with the rain. I want a drip-dry cunt that can take it again and again and again and again. I want a mast-head with breasts who screams out 'PIERCE ME! STEAL ME!'. Graveyards retch with the stink of one trillion broken hearts. Nobody gets out of here alive. I'll break your neck before you castrate me! Take this and scream out 'PIERCE ME! STEAL ME! SEIZE ME WITH YOUR WHITE HARD STEEL!'."

"Grace: Wanna know what I'd do? I'd break his balls. What you do is... you get yourself a sock, put a couple of plums in it, tie it to a doorknob, and you practice reaching out, grabbing 'em and pulling down on his balls until they pop."